VooDoo.

"I'll do it..." he threatened, "I swear I will."

"Do what Kyle?" I asked.

"I'm going to voodoo her ass! Do unmentionable things to her."

"Kyle, what exactly does that entail?" I asked.

"You'll see..."

Boy, did I.

I'll do it tomorrow...

I have become, or should I say "I AM" (not referencing God, just caps), the bad catholic that comes to confession on a daily basis to confess the same "little" sin. 

I need to start to change today, because tomorrow will NEVER come.

And I will never say enough "hail marys" or "our fathers" to make something happen. They are just meaningless words. Change is what makes the difference. A 180 degree turn. 

What I want.

I want the blood running through my veins, not to be a preservative, but to be a violent powerful force beneath my skin.

I'm nowhere and you're everything...

Lately I haven't been able to write anything. I have a book, an entire book, of ideas. Every time I sit down to write one of these things from the book, I just realize I am not equipped to write them. I am not saying I suck at writing, but everything I try to write speaks of something I know nothing about.

 Usually when I write, I write about someone else's experience, but I have still experienced something similar, something I can familiarize myself with. I think many writers are totally capable of writing about things they have never experienced, but for some reason, I can't. 

I was listening to a song by Chris Thile, called "I'm nowhere and you're everything." Chris has one line that juts out at me when I listen to this song, "I tried to write this song before but had no one to write it for." This line reminds me of the feeling I have when an idea doesn't click. It's like all of these ideas are just premature, no lungs to breathe, haven't developed fully. Once it has time to mature more, inside of me, eventually it's time will come... and it will scream.

I do miss writing though. The pages of my journal beg for me to wet them with ink...

Hopefully all of ideas will mature soon, but until then, I will be patient.

Maybe spend the time learning how to write, ha ha.

 

When people sneeze...

It makes me feel like the Pope.

Bless you,
and you,
and you,
and you.

United State of Fear.

"It turns out you can't actually make yourself believe something if the doubts seem more likely."

Fear is everywhere in our lives. Or maybe not fear, but the creation of fear about the unknown. We are raised to fear the unknown. It is an effective tool to keep us away from questions or opposing knowledge. But it isn't just fear. For fear, by itself, is an ineffective tool.

The fear factor is used in many different areas of life. And an evolution that has come about in this process is the recognition of the nature of humans, curiosity. So instead of the old, "don't ask," mentality, it is now, "make sure you ask the right questions of the right people."
This makes us afraid to ask "stupid" questions and causes us to seek out the answers to our questions from people who are a part of this system.

The people who have this system figured out right now are the people of the Republican party. Don't get me wrong, a lot of the time they have the best interests of their people in mind, but, I think what began as a system of protection has turned into fear and ignorance. They make it seem as if everyone is against them and that everyone else is spreading lies. It creates a fear to question, but also it creates a team loyalty and purpose that, normally, is difficult to generate. When you feel that your "team" is being attacked, the normal reaction is defensiveness and protection. So by creating the feeling that your team always needs to be on defense creates the fighting for a cause mentality.

Let's pick up and fight on our own terms, not somebody else's.

The efforts weren't worth the time...

It sucks to realize that all the effort you put into the house you were building with someone was worthless, and that when they said, "change the paint, the paint is no good." They really were devising to leave, to leave you behind and take all of the effing furntiure.